COMMISH HQ OFFICIAL STATEMENT
10:30pm 24 May 2016
The Commish would like to announce this season concluded.
What a great season for all. Perhaps the best to date. Clearly this league is going from strength to strength.
Let me start with Mr Whitham. Great achievement winning the double. Despite the few sniggers when selected, Rik has turned The Hurricane into the best forward in the game. Great work. He goes into next year’s European Cup as favourite. He will want to correct the wrong of this year’s All Star management. But a small blemish on a great season.
The Commish too had a great season. Despite drafting 8th, a European cup win, Yellow Cat cup final, 2nd in the league and an All Star win. He has set the standard for future last place draft picks and no longer can players use draft position as an excuse. A special mention should go to Dimitri Payet. The Mango in his Lassi. A great debut season, but will he be the same under the bright lights of a new stadium.
Then comes the Admin. Or should we call him the Postman? The board wants European football and he delivers. Season after season, Mr Consistency. How many other players would achieve a 3rd place finish whilst defending the League from European hacking attacks? Don’t forget his European cup final place. Though deciding to play his keeper in a wheelchair in the final might haunt him in the future. Oh, and the chemistry with Big Rom. Will the Black Stallion return to Team Toal next season? He will hope so, if he wants to make that final push for glory.
Completing the European qualifiers, comes Jonny Wild. The player with the number one draft pick, had a tough start to the season. For long periods, he remained cemented to the bottom of the league. However once 2015 was completed, what a 2nd half of a season he had. An All Star winning manager with a great performance on the day. OBT Cup winner, keeping his players calm through the nervy penalties. The similarities with Nigel Pearson are clearly present. Could he also push on to the league title next year? A special mention must also be made for Troy. I’m sure League managers remain shocked at his performance. Great management. Perhaps his B sample will provide more answers..?
Snuggled into 5th comes Mr Barker. Perhaps this season’s most improved manager. Some might criticise the lack of European football, but Col always returns to his 3 year plan. Football insiders might also point to the key injury to Callum Wilson. An inspired draft pick, who looked capable of blasting Col to glory. He didn’t match his exploits from last seasons Yellow Cat cup. However he became a key member of the All Star management team. It was his ruthless streak that pushed the team on and on. Next year… Year 3… God help us all.
In a solid 6th position, matching his drafting position, sits Mr Bingham. Enjoying the extra funds provided by his European campaign, Bing managed to pay a little extra and form a strong cup side. Though competing in the race for 4th, it was the OBT cup that was his main aim for the season. And oh so close… the first ever penalty shootout loser. This combined with the European cup semis, and close finishes last season, have many calling Bing “the Jimmy White” of the League. He will want that talk to end next year, and if he manages to draft more gems like Ozil, it’s only a matter of time. With the number 3 draft pick next year, Bing will be the hipsters’ choice.
Also matching his draft position sits Ben Wild in 7th. Last season’s manager of the year had a tough season. But it appears the team Clowne owners appear to be taking the blame. It was the owners that asked for a change in philosophy this season. Previously Ben had built a team around Costa, and Rooney. That team had a little dog about them. It appears the owners forced the drafting of Cesc and Milner to go for the soft, gentle approach. The Clowne Car Express are reporting that Ben has control of the draft again next year, so expect him to go dogs of war again. But let’s not forget the European cup semi, and his great role in the All Star game. Ben was in charge of mind games, and what games were played. Interestingly he didn’t unleash his full game plan, with lots kept till next year. With the number 2 draft pick next year, Ben will be the pundits’ choice.
And finally, sitting in 8th, the preseason favourite, Mr Breeze. People might point to his employing of Nesh as club doctor and horrific injury crisis. Others have mentioned the distractions of his cup sponsorship. I personally appreciate it’s hard to manage a team, and be the best innovator in the game. Perhaps it’s too much for one man. But these are all excuses. And in that household, there are no excuses. If rumours are true, it appears Mr Breeze may have purchased a log cabin in an isolated, cold part of Russia, and commenced a fantasy football training montage. This man may be the most dangerous man to have entered a fantasy football season. No more Charlie Austin draft picks, he’s only looking for Solid Gold. He enters next season with the number 1 draft pick, and plans to use it like a grenade. Payback is a Yellow Cat bitch.
The season ends, but this war continues. Let next season’s draft planning begin!!!
The Commish.