After a last minute change of venue, the season two awards were presented as follows:
European Cup – Baines on Toast (Gurj)
Yellow Cat cup – LWC (Rik)
The Allstar Shield- The North
OBT cup – Deeney’s Donkeys (Jonny W)
Manager of the season – Gurj
Worst manager – Jonny B
League Champions – LWC (Rik)
COMMISH HQ OFFICIAL STATEMENT
10:30pm 24 May 2016
The Commish would like to announce this season concluded.
What a great season for all. Perhaps the best to date. Clearly this league is going from strength to strength.
Let me start with Mr Whitham. Great achievement winning the double. Despite the few sniggers when selected, Rik has turned The Hurricane into the best forward in the game. Great work. He goes into next year’s European Cup as favourite. He will want to correct the wrong of this year’s All Star management. But a small blemish on a great season.
The Commish too had a great season. Despite drafting 8th, a European cup win, Yellow Cat cup final, 2nd in the league and an All Star win. He has set the standard for future last place draft picks and no longer can players use draft position as an excuse. A special mention should go to Dimitri Payet. The Mango in his Lassi. A great debut season, but will he be the same under the bright lights of a new stadium.
Then comes the Admin. Or should we call him the Postman? The board wants European football and he delivers. Season after season, Mr Consistency. How many other players would achieve a 3rd place finish whilst defending the League from European hacking attacks? Don’t forget his European cup final place. Though deciding to play his keeper in a wheelchair in the final might haunt him in the future. Oh, and the chemistry with Big Rom. Will the Black Stallion return to Team Toal next season? He will hope so, if he wants to make that final push for glory.
Completing the European qualifiers, comes Jonny Wild. The player with the number one draft pick, had a tough start to the season. For long periods, he remained cemented to the bottom of the league. However once 2015 was completed, what a 2nd half of a season he had. An All Star winning manager with a great performance on the day. OBT Cup winner, keeping his players calm through the nervy penalties. The similarities with Nigel Pearson are clearly present. Could he also push on to the league title next year? A special mention must also be made for Troy. I’m sure League managers remain shocked at his performance. Great management. Perhaps his B sample will provide more answers..?
Snuggled into 5th comes Mr Barker. Perhaps this season’s most improved manager. Some might criticise the lack of European football, but Col always returns to his 3 year plan. Football insiders might also point to the key injury to Callum Wilson. An inspired draft pick, who looked capable of blasting Col to glory. He didn’t match his exploits from last seasons Yellow Cat cup. However he became a key member of the All Star management team. It was his ruthless streak that pushed the team on and on. Next year… Year 3… God help us all.
In a solid 6th position, matching his drafting position, sits Mr Bingham. Enjoying the extra funds provided by his European campaign, Bing managed to pay a little extra and form a strong cup side. Though competing in the race for 4th, it was the OBT cup that was his main aim for the season. And oh so close… the first ever penalty shootout loser. This combined with the European cup semis, and close finishes last season, have many calling Bing “the Jimmy White” of the League. He will want that talk to end next year, and if he manages to draft more gems like Ozil, it’s only a matter of time. With the number 3 draft pick next year, Bing will be the hipsters’ choice.
Also matching his draft position sits Ben Wild in 7th. Last season’s manager of the year had a tough season. But it appears the team Clowne owners appear to be taking the blame. It was the owners that asked for a change in philosophy this season. Previously Ben had built a team around Costa, and Rooney. That team had a little dog about them. It appears the owners forced the drafting of Cesc and Milner to go for the soft, gentle approach. The Clowne Car Express are reporting that Ben has control of the draft again next year, so expect him to go dogs of war again. But let’s not forget the European cup semi, and his great role in the All Star game. Ben was in charge of mind games, and what games were played. Interestingly he didn’t unleash his full game plan, with lots kept till next year. With the number 2 draft pick next year, Ben will be the pundits’ choice.
And finally, sitting in 8th, the preseason favourite, Mr Breeze. People might point to his employing of Nesh as club doctor and horrific injury crisis. Others have mentioned the distractions of his cup sponsorship. I personally appreciate it’s hard to manage a team, and be the best innovator in the game. Perhaps it’s too much for one man. But these are all excuses. And in that household, there are no excuses. If rumours are true, it appears Mr Breeze may have purchased a log cabin in an isolated, cold part of Russia, and commenced a fantasy football training montage. This man may be the most dangerous man to have entered a fantasy football season. No more Charlie Austin draft picks, he’s only looking for Solid Gold. He enters next season with the number 1 draft pick, and plans to use it like a grenade. Payback is a Yellow Cat bitch.
The season ends, but this war continues. Let next season’s draft planning begin!!!
The Commish.
The final game was fought between Deeney’s Donkeys and We all Fist the Ozils, with the Deeney’s crowned victors.
Quarter finals
Mike vs Rik
40 (Coleman captain) vs 27
(Don’t) Blame it on the Wijis progresses
Gurj vs Col
46 vs 36 (Firminio captain)
Baines on Toast progresses
Jonny W vs Jonny B
52 vs 42 (Sanchez captain)
Deeney’s Donkeys progresses
Ben vs James
37 vs 39 (Costa captain)
Tie: Replay to be held at We all Fist the Ozil
With one week to go the second Yellow Cat Cup has lived up to the illustrious inaugural event. There have been shocks, draws and once again it has proved that this competition really is one of the most unpredictable on the planet. Neither division has a guaranteed winner and so it will be squeaky bum time all the way through the boxing day festivities. Starting with the North let’s review how each team has faired.
Deeney’s Donkeys [44/1]
“The silver lining for manager Jonny Wild is the performance of Jonny Breeze in last years YCC and the hope that the fans get excited about a cup run and cease their baying for the manager’s head.” Once again the form book has been turned on its head. Manager Jonny Wild went in to the start of the YCC routed to the bottom of the table, a fan base that had given up on life and a chairman who continued to mysteriously back the flailing manager. However, from their first game in the competition it was clear that the bad smell had been lifted and hope is returning to the Donkeys. Jonny‘s head to head before the competition had one win against his sibling and two against the much lauded Gurj. After doing the double over Wild the Younger, beating Col and, crucially, drawing against Gurj in their most recent outing he has surged to the top of the North. Importantly Jonny has had timed his run well and his cumulative score is 31 points higher than Gurj.
His final game is against a Vardy-less Barker’s Bertrands and is red hot favourite to progress to the final. This is the first time manager Wild senior has gone into anything favourite and there is a big question over his ability to perform with the eyes of the world watching on.
Baines on Toast [4/1]
Losing your best player on the eve of a major tournament is never easy, however Manager Singh acted fast to snap up the services of Ross Barkley. This has proved to be an inspired choice as Barkley has accrued 45 points in the weeks to date and kept Gurj in with his dream of completing the set of trophies. Gurj went into the competition 3rd in the league, with a decent head to head; dominant over Ben (4 victories in 4) and a victory over Col. There was some nervousness in the camp that he had not beaten Jonny Wild in either of the previous meetings, but the form books suggested that this should change and change it did. With one game to go Gurj now stands at 1.5 wins against Jonny Wild, 2 victories against Col and Ben Wild must be sick of the sight of Gurj as his domination continues.
His game this week against Jonny was crucial as he knew he would likely have to beat him as his cumulative points were so inferior. A hard fought draw, whilst rewarding for the neutral, was devastating for his dreams of holding the little Cat aloft. His final game is against Ben and even the most pessimistic fan must have that down for three points. He therefore has to hope for either a shock result from Col against Jonny, or go all out attack and try to make up the 31 point deficit.
Barker’s Bertrands [3/1]
A topsy-turvy tournament for manager Barker. The competition started with a flourish, easily beating Baines on Toast but this was followed with a string of defeats finally broken with a victory against AFC Hold the Front Page in the most recent game. Manager Barker went into the competition with the best head to head across the north, 2 wins against Ben, Jonny and Gurj and leaves with 3 against Ben and Gurj and no change on Jonny. A team riddled with injuries or non-starters is no doubt to blame and with further injuries announced this week, combined with the loss of Vardy back to the loan pool, it’s clear why Deeney’s Donkeys are red hot favourite for the final match.
AFC Hold the Front Page [2/1]
In a strange quirk of fortune (or perhaps an error in the algorithm), the bookies predictions for the north currently stand in reverse. AFC went in to the tournament with a lot of fanfare and excitement. The decision of the club to produce an array of half-half scarves to cash in on the expected glorious run was perhaps overly bullish (who can forget the infamous scarf with Wild – Wild one side and a well endowed Donkey spread-eagled on the front of a newspaper on the other). A solitary victory against Barker’s Bertrands is all the fans have had to celebrate and so can be forgiven for a lack of Christmas cheer. This is of course down to their depleted squad. AFC HtFP have played the least amount of minutes during the YCC, a full 870 minutes less than Deeney’s Donkeys at the top of the Northern chart.
Going in to the final game, manager Ben has hopes that two of his players, Kompany and Milner, will return. Wild junior is expected to go all out to help Wild senior achieve the unthinkable, but with a raging Cesc hell bent on bringing his manager’s downfall, few fans harbour any hope of stopping the Baines on Toast juggernaut.
After the huge success of the Yellow Cat Cup, it returns for its second year. Will the holder Jonny Breeze’s Dirty Rent Boys be able to retain his title? We’ve asked a local bookmaker for the odds of each competitor.
AFC Hold the Front Page – 2/1
AFC HtFP started the season well but have drifted a little since. Injuries have not helped the team, but with the squad almost at full fitness we expect them to regain some of their early season form. 3rd in the points per minutes table, despite their injury issues, and having topped the northern points league 3 times, we expect them to have a strong Cup run and have them as favourite to win their group.
Barker’s Bertrands – 3/1
Barker’s Bertrands were one of the surprise packages in last season’s YCC, defying their outsider odds and narrowly losing out to Jonny Breeze. This current season we have them ranked 2nd of the northern entries largely as they are in great form with a surge up the table in recent Gameweeks. Their injury list is high, however with in form loanee Jamie Vardy shooting freely and the manager’s love for a cup run we feel they will again be the surprise package of the North.
Baines on Toast – 4/1
Manager Singh has made it clear from the start of the season that he only has eyes for this illusive trophy. Working his players hard in training to get them in position for this competition has cost them dearly as they have lost their key player, Dimitri Payet, to injury. The manager has gambled on replacing him with Ross Barkley, however losing the lynch pin of their team on the eve of the competition has no doubt hurt their manager’s chances of getting his hands on that little yellow cat.
AFC Hold the Front Page – 44/1
Deeney’s Donkeys face an uphill battle having only topped the Northern points chart once in the first 12 gameweeks. A team that features the dynamic duo of Aguero and Deeney will always offer hope, however a seemingly unstoppable run of propping up the league table has left a terrible sense of doom around the manager and team. The silver lining for manager Jonny Wild is the performance of Jonny Breeze in last years YCC and the hope that the fans get excited about a cup run and cease their baying for the manager’s head.
(Don’t) Blame it on the Wijis – Evens
Top of both the league and points per minute table and having topped the southern points chart 5 times, it is clear that the Wiji’s are in strong form going in to this cup competition. This, combined with the imminent return of David Silva, has the Wiji’s as this years favourite to be lifting the little yellow cat this year. The one concern will be whether the manager can cope with the pressure as favourites, especially having disappointed so spectacularly in the European Cup final earlier this season.
LWC – 2/1
Blessed with a largely clean injury record (2nd in the total minutes played table), LWC have had a solid start to the season. The exciting combination of Ayew, Mane and Kane is supported by the solid due of Toby Toby Alderweireld and Craig Dawson. LWC would have been considered favourites but for the long term injuries to Jagielka and Henderson. If either are able to return early in the cup competition then there is real hope for manage Whitham.
Dirty Rent Boys – 6/1
The holder goes into the competition in a similar manner to last year. Going in to the first game without a recognised goal keeper is a brave stance, however they are blessed with gifted players who could score well on a given day. Last seasons we learned to our cost about writing off this manager based on the performances to date, however we feel it would be hard for manager Breeze to retain the little yellow cat.
We all fist the Ozil – 7/1
Injuries and omissions have cost the team heavily so far this season, having played 2,840 minutes less than Baines on Toast. Arguably the most creative of midfields (Mata and Ozil) are let down by underperforming strikers (Costa and Diouf). Whilst the injury list has largely cleared up, manager Bingham will feel himself unlucky to be in such a competitive division – which may be why rumours of the team relocating further north won’t go away.
Fraser (GK) – VICE CAPTAIN
Against doctors orders, Fraser is determined to play in such a prestigious final. The Wiji’s are currently in discussions with the FA to clear the use of a mobility scooter in a competitive game.
Seamus (DF)
With all 4 defenders meeting in fixtures against each other, selecting two has been a difficult decision for me. Seamus’ attacking ability should work well for what is expected to be a counter-attacking Wiji line up.
Per (DF) – CAPTAIN
Per “Fabio” Mertesacker has been bouncing off the walls all week. Fearing he was a soft touch, at the start of the season Big Dunc whisked him away for a Wilderness Survival experience. Dropped in deepest, darkest Scunthorpe and armed only with a swiss army knife, Per’s inner animal was brought out over the course of 3 weeks. I am picking him largely because I fear what he will do to me if I don’t.
Santi (MD)
The joker of the team. Not a training session goes by without this little scamp pulling off some outrageous prank. With the exception of Big Dunc and Per, no-one is spared the bantz from the cheeky Spaniard. A relatively slow start to the season has not dampened his spirits and I’m banking on a return to form on Monday night.
Wiji-Wiji (MD)
It would not be right if I did not select the founding father of (Don’t) blame it on the Wijis. Wiji-Wiji has exploded into the premiership and I’m banking on him continuing his form in a tricky away tie at United.
Big Rom (FW)
Symmetry is a big factor in my managerial philosophy. 2 Reds already selected needs 2 Blues to match. Big Rom has been quiet and relaxed all week; focused on the task in hand. Up against a team that are yet to concede a goal could be a concern, but Big Rom is focused and I have full confidence in him leading my line.
Penalty Order:
Big Rom, Santi, Wiji Wiji, Seamus, Per
Marty (GK)
A big final needs experience. 52 caps for Holland, Edwin van der Saar’s understudy in the Dutch team, the product of the Ajax academy oozes confidence. Yes he is deaf in one ear (true!) but he makes up for it with an amazing sense of smell. This man is ready for war!
Jan the Man (DF)
Another product of the Ajax academy. He has worked well with the de Boer brothers and Marty. Another man with great international experience. 69 caps for Belgium, a leader of my defence. A man who has a habit of scoring the odd goal. Perhaps a European cup winning goal?? Worth noting in 2011, Marty was club captain at Ajax, with Jan as his Vice captain. Great chemistry.
Hector (DF)
To counteract the experience, I’ve thrown in a little spark of youth. And what a spark! This 20 year old product of the famed Barca academy has pace. Serious pace! It’s this pace we hope can exploit the wiji back line. Help stretch the field to allow my midfielders do what they do best. Hector, named after the Trojan warrior, was born and bred for this occasion.
Dimitri “the fifth horseman” Payet (MD)
The man from the little island of Reunion. An island near Madagascar famed for being the outermost region of the EU. A quick thinking player blessed with terrific technique is a contender for player of the European cup. The standout player for BOT, his enthusiasm had driven this team to success. With 15 caps for France, he continues the BOT trend of international experience for the big final.
Yaya “the elegance” Toure (MD) – CAPTAIN
Oh captain, my captain. The heart and soul of my team. What can I say that’s not been said before….
Yaya Touré is a practising Muslim, once turning down the traditional Man-of-the-Match champagne after a league game against Newcastle United in keeping with his religious beliefs. After this, the Premier League introduced a rose water and pomegranate drink as an alternative prize for Muslim players. In October 2013, Touré joined a campaign against elephant poaching, becoming a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations Environment Programme. We all know about tragic death of his younger brother. That bereavement has become the rallying cry of Baines on Toast. We are doing this for Ibrahim Toure. 95 international caps, champions league winner, I dare Mike Toal to show me something that Yaya has never seen!!
Wayne “earthquake” Rooney (FW) – VICE CAPTAIN
Continuing the theme of experience, I’ve opted for former champions league winner Wayne to spearhead our attack. The older brother of John Rooney, (who was selected in the 2nd round of the MLS draft by the New York red bulls). Wayne has not had the best start to the season. However my top forward in the semi has a hunger for European action. The first premier league footballer to reach 10 million twitter followers, he’s ready to put on a show for his fans. 105 England caps, 48 international goals, 170 premier league goals, Mike be afraid, be very afraid. What’s that I feel?? An earthquake tremor!! BOOOOOOOOOOM!!
Penalty Order:
Rooney, Payet, Yaya, Jan the man, Hector
(Don’t) blame it on the Wijis (Mike Toal) take on Baines on Toast (Gurj Singh) in the inaugural European Cup Final. The current league leaders vs. last season’s champions. It’s a fascinating encounter and one not to miss!
From the (Don’t) blame it on the Wijis camp…
Mike Toal:
“This has been the most difficult week of my managerial life. The decision on who is left out of the biggest game of football is something that has left me with sleepless nights. I have had players calling me up in tears, begging me to select them for this match. If I did not have Big Dunc to act as my crutch I fear I may have crumbled.
The final has coincided with an unfortunate fixture list, with my players being pitted against each other. But this is the European Cup final. Overcoming challenges like these are why I am a manager.
I looked forward to meeting up with Gurjeet for the final. We have had a long friendship and shared many a glass of wine. This will be a hard fought contest and I can safely say that whoever is left holding the trophy at the end of the gameweek, Football is the winner.
This is the team I predict from Gurj: “Stekelenburg, Bellerin, Vertonghen, Payet, Yaya Toure, Rooney”
From the Baines on Toast camp…
Gurj Singh:
“There’s always been something gloriously special about football’s European Cup final. The most important club match anywhere in the world every year, the occasion has produced countless wonderful images and moments, not to mention great performances and memorable drama.
On the eve of this great final, I find myself thinking, is there anyone I would rather be playing tomorrow. A decent friend is fairly easy to come by, but a great friend, a truly like-minded and like-hearted individual with whom you share that special alchemy, is a rare gift. Let this European cup final be about friendship and love between a commissioner and his administrator.”
This is the team I predict from Mike: “Forster, Clyne, Coleman, Cazorla, Silva, Lukaku”
A copy of the excellent match day programme can be found in the link below:
First game FC Gurjeet (28) vs. AFC Hold The Front Page (18)
Preview:With the likely outcome of AFC Hold The Front Page only playing with 5 players, both BreezeBets and Official Fantasy Football Scout, can’t see anything but quite a convincing home win, and ultimately an easy aggregate win for the League Winners last year. Gurjeet Singh holds a 3-0 record over manager Ben Wild, with their last head to head coming in the inaugural OBT Cup last season.
BreezeBets prediction: FC Gurjeet to win game 33 points to 21.
Official Fantasy Football Scout prediction: FC Gurjeet to win 23.4 points to 16.6
Odds (to qualify): FC Gurjeet 1/8, Draw 25/1, AFC Hold The Front Page 18/1
First game We all Fist the Ozil (26) vs. (Don’t) Blame it on the Wijis (26)
Preview:The game couldn’t be more evenly poised, given the fantastic even contest in the first leg. However Mikey Toal will have been the happier of the 2 managers and takes his team back to the Wiji stadium as slight favourites to qualify for the European Cup final. In previous head to head matches from last season’s Yellow Cat Cup, it is 1-1 in results, both home wins. Tight affair and the more exciting of the ties
BreezeBets prediction: (Don’t) blame it on the Wijis to win game 23 points to 12.
Official Fantasy Football Scout prediction: (Don’t) blame it on the Wijis to win 18.8 points to 13.4
Odds (to qualify): (Don’t) blame it on the Wijis 4/11, Draw 16/1, We all Fist the Ozil 9/2